Magical Madness: the Top 5 Most Ridiculous Disney Movies
5 The Aristocats
You many not remember this one so clearly, but it is definitely bonkers. This movie centers on a cat and her kittens, who are all the pets of a wealthy retired singer in Paris. When the singer draws up her will, she leaves her entire fortune to her cats (of course she does), which will revert to her butler when the cats all die (See? Bonkers). In turn, the butler tries to get rid of the cats and gain the inheritance by driving them out to the countryside and ditching them. What he doesn’t count on though, is that a poor alley cat named Thomas O’Malley (yeah, that’s a cat’s name), will help them get back to Paris, and retain the inheritance that is rightfully theirs (even though they’re freaking cats).
The tale of the poor boy that enlists the help of a magical genie in order to win the heart of a princess has one major shortcoming; it’s totally racist. Not the story itself, but this Disney film version is chock full of straight up racism. The entire tale takes place in the Middle East, yet somehow, our protagonist Aladdin, plays as a white kid with a tan. In fact, the only characters that are drawn as though they’re actually of Middle Eastern descent, are the sorcerer Jafar and his goons. Yeah, all the bad guys. And they’re so overdone that the racism in their case is even worse. Come on Disney, there’s got to be a middle ground.
3 Beauty and the Beast
First, let’s address the fact that the Beast has become the creature he is because he turned away an old woman who needed shelter, and she placed a curse on him. Also, and for seemingly no reason at all, she placed a curse on all of his servants too, turning them into clocks, candlesticks and teapots. Why? Who knows? Apparently this old lady was just a real a-hole who thought the servants’ lives weren’t already bad enough. Then, the beautiful and intelligent Belle proceeds to fall in love with a giant man-bear, the very same giant man-bear that had imprisoned her father and was intent on keeping him forever, just because. What a guy.
2 The Little Mermaid
There is one major, glaring problem with The Little Mermaid; Ariel is a total jerk. She leaves everything and everyone she’s ever known behind in order to live life on the surface with the humans. A desire she’s evidently harbored since she started collecting their discarded dinner utensils. Now, this isn’t like a girl leaving her small town behind in favor of the big city, this is the equivalent of you saying goodbye to your loved ones forever, in order to go live with the dolphins. She left her own species in the dust. Not cool, Ariel. Not cool at all.
1 101 Dalmatians
It’s hard to imagine a scenario worse than having 100+ dogs living with you. No part of that would be enjoyable. Even having the original 15 puppies would be awful. You’re looking at crap everywhere, non-stop barking, irreparable damage to your furniture and hardwood floors, and a swift eviction. Now add the 84 extra puppies the dogs bring home after foiling Cruella de Vil’s plans, and you’re looking at a full on, life-ruining litter of canines. Throw in the fact that the antagonist is a woman who legitimately wants to make a coat out of puppy skin, and you’ve got a pretty heinous movie on your hands.